Several years ago I had this problem where I'd aspirate every time I swallowed a sip of any liquid. This caused no end of messes and embarassments, including the time (on a first date) I choked and spit a cup of tea all over the poor fella's livingroom.

I now seem to have developed a case of... dropsy, in the sense that I seem to have an issue remaining upright. I trip, stumble, fall over - and have the sore bones and scraped skin to prove it.

Apparently I am severely misaligned, and require a good calibrating.