I got a spammy email from some reunion website tonight, whose subject line was "Lonita, who are you searching for?" Who, indeed.

I think when I was younger I was looking for a specific who, or perhaps a who of specifics. He would be a certain way, look a certain way - I had, I suppose, a "type" like anyone else did. I realised as the years wore on that a type would not serve me, for I knew that no mountain of minutia was going to adequately define or determine who I would consider to be a "fit" for me. Hell, those whom I have found to be most attractive or enticing, have never been the people I thought they would be - but, in an odd way they are. They turn out to be exactly as they should be. Where my desires have most strongly driven me, have never been in the directions I felt they'd take me, yet, they are exactly where they should go also.

What am I looking for now... the same thing I was always looking for, methinks - that which is perfect for me. Always such things manifest themselves in ways you never imagined, ways you never saw them coming. They are a surprise of grand proportion when they come around the corner and trip you up while you are lost in thought with eyes equally lost.

The other odd thing, is that when "perfect for you" comes around the corner and trips you up of a morning, it is never what you thought it would be, yet... it is exactly as it should be.