2004 04 05

I was woken up by a phone call today, the sort you never want to get.

My cousin Matthew's girlfriend's baby (he's not the father but is the dad) died last night. No idea why yet. The baby was very young, only a month or two old, so my guess is SIDS.

Though this doesn't affect me so much specifically, since I haven't been close to this cousin for many years, and I had only met the girlfriend once - never the child, it's still sad. It leaves a rather odd pall over the day.

I remember when I was five years old, coming down in the elevator one time to go out and play, and I saw my uncle in the lobby holding someone's baby. What I didn't know at the time, was that he was giving the baby mouth-to-mouth. The baby, a boy, had died - cause being SIDS. I went to that funeral, which, looking back with adult eyes I find odd. Since my grandmother is such a nervous-nellie, and weird about matters relating to death, it surprises me she took me to a baby's funeral. I can still remember it, too, and can still see the baby in the casket. It never freaked me out, as you might imagine such a thing would do to a young child - perhaps I was too young to understand, or maybe I understood on some level that you can't quite put words to.

I don't believe you should shield children from death. I never understood people who think you have to "protect" them from it. It makes no sense. How can a child learn to deal with anything if you are constantly shielding them from, even, the basic facts of human existence? Whatever fears exist, are not ones the child has themselves; fears are things learned. Most of the fears I had as a child came not from my own experience, but were projected upon me by the fears of those who raised me. Because you have issues dealing with something, doesn't mean others will, or should have to.