Why you should date me...

• I will never make you go clothes shopping with me.
• I will watch Bond films with you.
• Although I like a little intuitiveness, I will not expect you to read my mind 24/7.
• I will watch old war movies with you. (In fact, it's like I'll watch more of them than you will.)
• I will not make you carry my purse.
• I will never make any part of our shared habitat too girly for you to handle.
• I will never ask you if something makes me look fat. (Believe me, I see this body every day. I know what I look like without others having to tell me. Not that blind!)
• I will not expect you to like, or get along with, my mother. (I don't always, so why should anyone else?)
• If you want to eat dinner in the livingroom in front of the TV on a paper plate with plastic utensils, I won't care. (In fact, it's likely better this way, since it means neither of us will be required to wash dishes.)
• I will not compile a "honey do" list and expect you to perform all the tasks on it yourself. (I like a little hammering and nailing now and then.)
• I will not expect you to hang around any hen parties I may become involved with.
• I will be ready when you come to pick me up for activities.
• I am happy to heat and serve leftover pizza, Chinese food, or other takeout, as breakfast or brunch.
• I won't feel abandoned and betrayed if you watch sports. I may even watch some of them with you. (And if I don't, I'm not going to get in your hair about it.)
• If you're watching something I don't want to watch, I won't punish you for it. (This is why every household with multiple persons dwelling in it, should have multiple TVs.)
• I have no interest in ruling your life.
• You are not required to like any of my friends.
• I won't make getting ready to go out a new level of hell.
• I don't expect you to do all the dirty work.
• I will be flexible when it comes to planning activities.

  And the most important reason why you should date me is:

• Because, darling, I give you very best duck.