I've seen an attitude, and my grandmother displays it in relation to homosexuals at least, where her... nonbigotry is displayed in a magnanimous way, as if it is doing someone a favour. She mentions it, points it out, calling attention to how she isn't being small-minded. That attitude bothers me.

I don't need to say that being open-minded should be a matter of course, that bigotry shouldn't exist, that treating someone, anyone, with respect shouldn't be a favour - that it should just be.

Acceptance should just be.

With my grandmother I can understand it. She's of a generation that lived through segregation. She's not a bigoted person, but there were attitudes at that time that were a matter of social course. So even though she may not have held the views, she was still affected by them. That attitude displayed from my grandmother is understandable. She is old and working past old habits and old thoughts and things she grew up having to get used to. There have been a lot of changes in the world since she was born. It's a lot to take in, especially for someone as old as she is. From her the attitude is an attempt, and that's as good as it will get with many of her generation.

But I have also seen this attitude of doing a favour from those we'd think of as more enlightened, or at least those we'd hope to be so. From them it's less than acceptable, or least more difficult to understand. I don't, in a way, understand bigotry. I don't see the necessity for it. It is pointless.

If you're going to accept, simply do so. Forget the trappings. The trappings call attention to something that shouldn't be there to begin with.